Chapter 9
MINISTRY COMMUNICATION
THE REAL MEANING OF
COMMUNICATION
Communication is relationship-building. It involves exchanging information in a way that influences behavior and builds a relationship. Communication is thus much more than merely sending and receiving messages. The information must be sent, received, understood, acted upon, and followed up on. Seen in this light, communication is an active, systematic, interpersonal process that shapes the way people work together.
Rarely is miscommunication so simple as poor word choice or use of the wrong communication channel. Breakdowns in communication usually reflect deeper-seated problems: disagreement about goals and priorities, lack of rapport between team members, conflicting expectations, hidden agendas, and so on. Poor communication is actually more a symptom than a problem. The real problem is dysfunctional relationships within the organization. When relationships break down, so does communication.
Many times conflicting frames of reference contribute to shaky relationships in the ministry and hence inferior communication. People are on different "wavelengths" due to differences in age, past experience, technical orientation, and personal needs. This makes it difficult for them to perceive things in the same way, prompting such frustrated comments as, "Those people just don't understand what we're trying to do here," or "They act like their work is more important than ours!"
Selective perception is another common culprit in miscommunication. We all have a tendency to block out information that conflicts with our beliefs and biases--we hear only what we want to hear. For example, if we have an "ax to grind" with a certain program, we may pay exclusive attention to its weak points and shortcomings while conveniently overlooking its virtues.
A third potential communications trap is source credibility. The reality that we tend to communicate more effectively with people we trust and respect, highlights the importance of interpersonal rapport in the communication process. It is potentially dangerous for newcomers with little experience to be placed in key positions of communication within the organization. People who don't know them well and haven't established much rapport may not always hear what was actually said or meant.
One additional source of miscommunication is filtering, the almost subconscious process of slightly distorting or fudging information to make the sender look good or back the sender's agenda. The ministry leader, for example, might report that team productivity is up twenty percent, yet fail to mention that staff expenses are up fifty percent due to three new persons being hired!
SITUATION REVIEW 9.1
The Potential for Miscommunication
Working on an individual basis, ministry team members should state how much they agree with the following statements (2 = strongly agree, 1 = agree. 0 = disagree).
1. I know my team members well enough to predict how each will react to what goes on in the ministry.
2. Team members rarely misunderstand or misinterpret my actions and intentions.
3. When people disagree with me, it’s hard for me to see things from their point of view.
4. When our team meets, we spend most of our time looking for ways to agree with one another.
5. My team members have developed high rapport with one another.
6. Our team tends to think very much alike.
7. Team conversations are based more on facts and information than on opinions and feelings.
8. We don’t always follow up on the things we talk about at team meetings.
9. I am often surprised by the actions or statements of my team members.
10. I have a high degree of trust for my team members.
Score the inventory by subtracting the total for statements 3, 8, and 9 (factors promoting miscommunication) from the total for 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 10 (factors preventing miscommunication). Final scores below 5 on the part of many team members (on a ten-point scale), point to less than ideal circumstances for effective communication. Action Plan 9.1 will prove helpful in improving the communications climate.
ACTION PLAN 9.1
Avoiding Communications Quicksand
1. The following questions can be used in planning for an important team communication:
Message or purpose of the communication:
A. Who is this communication intended to reach?
B. What specific impact do you want this communication to have? (How should it influence the behavior of those it is sent to?)
C. How will you know if you have successfully communicated? What standard of measure will you use?
D. What follow-up actions can you take to enhance the effectiveness of this communication?
2. Further analyze the communication in Part 1 with these questions:
A. In which of the following areas are you probably on a different wavelength from the people you are sending this communication to:
Education level
Type of technical work performed
Job experience
Goals and priorities
Personal needs
Level of influence in the organization
B. Describe how each of the following can help you get on the same wavelength as the person you are communicating with:
1. Appealing to their personal needs:
2. Dealing with any biases they may (perhaps unknowingly) have:
3. Furthering their goals:
4. Building trust and rapport:
THE ROLE OF PERCEPTION
AND EXPECTATIONS IN COMMUNICATION
Behavior is based in large part on perceptions and expectations--on our subjective view of reality. A key function of communication is to better ground people's perceptions and expectations in organizational reality. False expectations and distorted perceptions can be very damaging to morale and a continuing source of conflict.
Expectations are shaped by two major perceptions: what we perceive the organization wants to do, and what it is capable of doing. Ministry leaders must carefully assess the potential impact of all communications on these two factors. Team unity will fall apart to the extent that members misperceive organization goals and capabilities.
Ministry leaders must be careful not to promise, or even imply, more than they can realistically deliver. They should rely on sound facts and figures in explaining decisions and stay away from "guesstimates" and hunches. Because people have a natural tendency to overreact to what is said and done by those in authority, leaders should carefully avoid the use of hyperbole, oversell, and "pie-in-the-sky" rhetoric.
SITUATION REVIEW 9.2
Communication Check
Team members should respond to the following questions on an individual basis:
1. What are the three most significant things you expect your team to accomplish in the next twelve months?
2. What are your team’s three greatest limitations?
3. What two things are most important to your team leader?
4. What does your organization most want your team to accomplish?
5. What role are you expected to play on your team?
6. What two things do you most expect from the other members of your team?
7. What do you not expect your team to accomplish in the next twelve months?
8. How are you perceived by the other members of your team?
9. How is your team leader perceived?
10. How is your particular team or unit perceived by the overall ministry organization?
ACTION PLAN 9.2
Getting on the Same Wavelength
The responses of individual team members to Situation Review 9.2 should be compared and contrasted in light of the following questions:
1. To what extent do the members of your team seem to have similar expectations for team performance?
2. I the team perceived to have many significant limitations? Are these perceptions accurate?
3. Has your team accurately perceived the leader’s vision?
4. To what extent does your team appear to be on the same wavelength as the overall organization?
5. Are the members of your team on the same wavelength?
6. In what three primary ways could the team improve its reality-orientation?
Some leaders may have to overcome the opposite tendency to be noncommittal and vague about events in the organization--"if they can't pin me down, they won't blame me for any failures." Reality orientation is a key leadership responsibility that demands communication finesse and subtlety.
COMMUNICATION STYLES
Each of us has a unique communication style to match our unique personality. Not only do we express ourselves in a distinctive way, we perceive the world a bit differently than anyone else, interact with others in a characteristic way, and subscribe to our own goals and priorities.
Some of us are talkers, others are listeners. Some are calm, others emotional. We're not all equally patient, or self-confident, or serious in demeanor. Some of us are idealistic, others practical. We vary in the extent to which we communicate by words, actions, and example. The human communication process indeed reflects diversity.
Coping with the array of styles is the ministry manager's central communications challenge. Team members should be managed in such a way that their communication styles complement one another--one person's communication styles complement one another--one person's communication strengths shore up another's deficiencies. Talkers can be encouraged to listen and listeners encouraged to talk. Forceful team members can be used to help set the record straight, while learning tact from the less blunt but more sensitive members of the group. The optimists can encourage the pessimists, who in turn can temper extreme team excesses.
In short, team communication should be managed so that team members communicate more effectively within the group than they do by themselves. The group should create communications synergy, where deficiencies of individual team members are compensated for and counterbalanced by the larger team. Ideally each person should make a one-of-a-kind contribution to the team's overall communications effectiveness. Without each member's unique communication style the team would suffer.
SITUATION REVIEW 9.3
Describing Your own Communication Style
1. Place an “X” where you feel you fit on each of the scales below dealing with personal communication style.
_______________________________________________________
Talker Listener
_______________________________________________________
Calm Emotional
_______________________________________________________
Patient Impatient
_______________________________________________________
Blunt Subtle
_______________________________________________________
Easy going Serious
_______________________________________________________
Spontaneous Planned
_______________________________________________________
Optimistic Pessimistic
_______________________________________________________
Encourager Challenger
_______________________________________________________
Soft Tough
_______________________________________________________
Abstract Concrete
_______________________________________________________
Domineering Compliant
_______________________________________________________
Subjective Objective
_______________________________________________________
Opinionated Factual
_______________________________________________________
Cautious Decisive
2. Have team members indicate (in different colored ink) what they feel is your own communications style on each of the continuums in the section above.
ACTION PLAN 9.3
Increasing Communication Synergy
1. To what extent have you and your team agreed in the assessment of your personal communications style?
2. What are your communication tendencies?
3. Which of these communication tendencies make positive contributions to the success of your individual ministry? Why does this occur?
4. Which of your communication tendencies limit your ministry success? Why?
5. Identify three specific actions that will enhance your ability to communicate effectively:
6. What can you do to help other members of your team communicate more effectively?
SITUATIONAL
COMMUNICATION
The form of communication--verbal, written, group, one-on-one, formal, informal--must match the situation at hand. With so many forms of communication available, it is not always easy to choose the most appropriate approach. Yet "synchronized" communication, involving a good fit between channel and situation, is essential for on-going ministry success.
In planning a message, the ministry manager has three general communication categories to consider. Should the communication be personal or impersonal; formal or informal; written or verbal? Different communication situations call for different combinations of these categories.
Communication should be personalized, involving direct contact between sender and receiver, whenever people's feelings are involved as much as their thoughts. Strictly informational communication, such as ministry current event updates or calendar prompts, don't normally require person-to-person contact because people's feelings aren't involved. However, when the communication is not of a routine informational nature and will evoke a reaction from the receiver, personalized contact of some form is essential.
Official communications, involving matters of policy and precedent, should be made through formal channels such as agenda-backed meetings or documentation in a manual. By contrast, most day-to-day communications to coordinate work should be approached informally via hallway conversations, impromptu planning sessions, and telephone chats. Informal communication is usually the most efficient and convenient way to coordinate daily work agendas. More formal approaches, such as managing by memo or frequently called committee meetings only tend to create a burgeoning bureaucracy.
Again, deciding whether to communicate verbally or in writing depends on the situation. Lengthy and technical messages requiring little feedback--detailed instructions, reports, policies and procedures--should be written to permit close scrutiny and repeated referrals. Verbal channels should be used whenever exchange feedback are important: delegating work assignments, coordinating workflow, troubleshooting problems, analyzing decision-making alternatives, and so forth.
SITUATION REVIEW 9.4
Mixing and Matching Communication
1. Throughout a typical work week, team members should keep track of the types of communication they engage in and the communication channels employed. The summary chart below can be filled out as the week progresses. Each time a team member engages in one of the forms, or channels of communication, he or she should use the space provided to write down the letter of the purpose of the communication as outlined below.
Weekly Communication Log
Communication Channels
Personal:
Impersonal:
Formal:
Informal:
Written:
Verbal:
Purpose of the Communication
A. Giving work instructions for a specific short-term task.
B. Explaining a major policy or procedure.
C. Enforcing a policy, procedure, or rule.
D. Praising or critiquing a team member’s performance.
E. Implementing change.
F. Resolving conflict.
G. Putting out minor brushfires.
H. Analyzing courses of action for a decision.
I. Updating the team about current organizational events.
J. Planning major assignments or projects.
K. Initiating change.
2. The completed weekly communication log should be analyzed by totaling up the letters recorded within each of the six broad communication channels. These totals can be entered in the following spaces:
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Formal |
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Informal |
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Written |
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Verbal |
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Column Totals: |
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The following chart matches up the eleven types of communication (A-K) with the channels that are usually most effective and situationally appropriate.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION MATCH-UPS
Personal: A-C-D-E-F-G-H-J-K
Impersonal: B-H-I
Formal: B-E-I-J-K
Informal: A-C-D-E-F-G-H-K
Written: B-E-H-I-J
Verbal: A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-J-K
The above match-up chart clearly indicates that, as a general rule, some communication channels (personal, informal, and verbal) should be used more frequently in Christian organizations than other channels (impersonal, formal, written).
3. Analyze the apparent situational effectiveness of your own communication style by answering the following questions:
A. Which communication channels do you tend to use most frequently?
B. How does your response to question 1 compare with the Effective Communication Match-Ups chart?
C. According to your assessment, do you tend to overuse some communications channels and underutilize others?
D. Does your communication style tend to be overly formal or overly informal? Would you characterize it as fairly well-balanced situationally?
E. In which situation do you have a tendency to use an inappropriate channel of communication?
ACTION PLAN 9.4
Fine-Tuning Your Communication Style
1. Which channels of communication do you want to use more frequently to improve your situational effectiveness?
2. Which channels do you want to rely on less?
3. Explain how you could make more effective use of the six communication channels:
Personal:
Impersonal:
Formal:
Informal:
Written:
Verbal:
BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS
THROUGH COMMUNICATION
The ultimate purpose of communication is relationship-building (not mere message-sending), and the key to relationships is interpersonal rapport. We build rapport by showing concern not only for the professional side of our team members (what they produce and how they perform), but also for their personal side (e.g., their individuality, interests, family). Rapport involves having a growing relationship with the whole person, not just part of the person.
Relationships of this depth rarely develop automatically--they must be patiently nurtured through creative communication. Four communication skills are the nucleus of rapport: listening, tact, positive reinforcement, and loving confrontation.
Listening is the single most tool in any manager's arsenal, because it "speaks" volumes about your interest in the other person and insures that the crucial feedback loop in communication is completed. Naive communicators too quickly assume that talking is power; in reality listening is, because of its rapport-building potential. Indeed it is true that "one pair of listening ears can drink a thousand tongues dry." People who say they don't have the time to listen are really expressing their unwillingness to build relationships!
Rapport is also advanced through tactfulness, the capacity for communicating negative messages in a positive, constructive manner. Tactfulness does not mean telling people only what they want to hear or ingenuously "sugar-coating" communications, but it does entail phrasing unflattering or unwelcome messages in a face-saving, ego-protecting manner. Tact signals that you are enough about the other person to use words that affirm their humanity.
Proverbs eloquently states the communication principles of positive reinforcement: "How delightful is a timely word" (15:23) and "Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad" (12:25). The potential of a positive reinforcement goes well beyond praise to include any form of accepting a particular action or behavior: references to contributions made, public recognition, even imitation of the same behavior. When we positively reinforce a team member, we communicate our acceptance and approval. Rapport is inevitable!
Rapport also has a tough side. It takes courage to confront someone in love as a means of improving your relationship. Loving confrontation says I care about you too much to allow our relationship to stagnate or deteriorate.
SITUATION REVIEW 9.5
Rapport Report
Team members should indicate how much they agree with the following statements (2 = strongly agree, 1 = agree, and 0 = disagree).
1. I tend to be all business in my relationships with team members.
2. I don’t hesitate to reveal my “inner self” when working with others.
3. In most situations, I’m too impatient to be a good listener.
4. Even when I’m busy, I make time to praise the efforts of fellow workers.
5. When I have a relationship problem, I usually wait for the other person to take the first step in resolving it.
6. I try to keep in close touch with the work activities of my team members.
7. I am quicker to point out someone’s faults and shortcomings than their strengths.
8. I learn a great deal about the needs of this ministry by regularly listening to others.
9. I am usually more concerned with what I want to say than with how I will say it.
10. People are generally very willing to listen to me.
Score the inventory by subtracting the total for the odd-numbered statements (factors damaging rapport) from the total for the even-numbered ones (factors supporting rapport). The higher your final score on a 10-point scale, the greater your rapport-building effectiveness appears to be. People with relatively low scores should put forth a more systematic effort to build rapport. Action Plan 9.5 provides help.
ACTION PLAN 9.5
Rapport Planning
1. Place a check beside each rapport-builder below that is not an established part of your communication style. Consult your responses to Situation Review 9.5 as a guide.
Getting to know team members as people, not just as professionals.
Revealing your human side to others.
Listening patiently and receptively.
Praising others when they deserve it.
Taking the initiative in building relationships with others.
Staying in close touch with the daily work activities of team members.
Accentuating the positive rather than the negative about others.
Learning through listening.
Tactfulness and diplomacy.
Loving confrontation.
2. In the provided space, list your excuses for not using each rapport-builder to the maximum:
Listening:
Taking the initiative in relationship-building:
Positively reinforcing others:
Tactfulness:
Loving confrontation:
Now crumple up this list, throw it away, and resolve to never again rely on these excuses!
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. (Proverbs 25:11)
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossians 4:6)
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)